When she looks in the mirror and rotates to catch a glimpse of every angle, she holds back her tears because what see.She see’s more than just a body she’s unsatisfied with, but a person who has failed and a person that she wants so desperately to love and accept.An eating disorder is more mental than it is physical; the outside tells you nothing about the battle within.The body-hate and overwhelming fear of losing control will always be – in the back of her mind.You also probably had no idea that I’d spend hours dwelling on the offhand comment you made about eating too many calories at lunch.And it might not have occurred to you that telling me I’m perfect as I am when I’m feeling less-than-perfect might not be as constructive as you thought it was.So if you catch her staring at the menu with fear in her eyes, just place your hand on-top of hers, and remind her that you’re here for her.She may trust that this is your honest opinion; however, that doesn’t change how she sees herself.
But then should you wish to know the person better or indeed have a relationship, here is what dating an anorexic could be like.
This sets the symbolic tone for the rest of the film: Angela depends on Jack for physical affirmation, Jack depends on Angela to make him feel like a hero who can free her from an eating disorder and Angela goes back to depending on binging and purging to cope with it all.
Both Angela and Jack are bound together with the idea that he can save her.
My fiancée Kelsey has anorexia, and as I prepare to marry her this fall, it's become clear how much her condition has taught me about what men can do—and the many things they'll try to but can't—for the women they love.
Eating disorders disproportionately affect women, so many men may find themselves in my position, but my experience and lessons learned may also apply to women dating men with eating disorders.